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Michael Bailey Is A Danger to Trans Kids – Those Kids Know Who They Are

May29

Recently, on another forum, some individuals were defending Michael Bailey’s utter BS that Bailey was using to defend reparative therapy being used on trans kids. There are a lot of problems with Michael Bailey’s nonsense, not the least of which is that he may be nearly as bad as Zucker up in Canada.

Bailey claims that 80% of all trans identified kids never transition and settle into their lives as their birth sex. But the 80% figure is, as Bailey admits, decades old. It is also highly flawed. The core flaw in that study? Children were being actively discouraged from their gender identity (reparative therapy) and Bailey and his henchmen failed to followup after age 18 to see if these people stayed in their birth gender their entire lives or if they subsequently transitioned as adults. I personally know two older transwomen who Bailey claimed to have “cured”. They said they simply felt oppressed, faked it, waited til they were older, and transitioned when they were out of their parent’s (and Bailey’s) control.

Subsequent advances in diagnostic techniques now allow much clearer distinction between what the profession refers to as “gender curious” children and children who are actually transgender.

Two separate recent studies followed two groups of children who were identified as trans using modern diagnostic criteria. One was in San Diego through Rady Children’s Hospital. The second was in The Netherlands. Both groups were followed for over 10 years, and in both groups, 100% of children identified as trans early on chose to transition and live in their identified gender.

Here is info about the Dutch study. There were 55 participants. All transitioned and are happy.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/transgender-teens-become-happy-healthy-young-adults/

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2014/09/16/3567886/transgender-puberty-suppression-study/

Here is the California study involving Rady Children’s Hospital in San Diego. There were 42 participants. All transitioned and are happy.

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2015/03/10/3631788/letting-transgender-kids-transition-is-for-their-own-good/

In short, Bailey is a quack. He’s full of nonsense. He deliberately quotes outdated statistics. He ignores the last 20+ years of neurobiological research that says this is a medical condition that cannot be reversed or “cured”. And he remains an advocate for conversion therapy, which every major medical and psychological organization in the United States says is immoral and unethical because it consistently leads to increases in suicidality.

Bailey is simply pushing his reparative therapy agenda, just like Zucker.

Siding with Bailey is dangerous, because anyone who does is lending credence to his “reparative therapy for trans kids” argument. And if anyone believes that works, they can tell it to Leelah Alcorn.

Looking Forward To July

May19

FFS is now behind me. I’ve left the tape behind, a few days early, but my nose feels great and reading other rhinoplasty recovery guidelines, a full month of taping was a bit on the overly cautious side anyway.

So now it’s preparing for July, for GCS and BA, and to try to enjoy Thailand a bit before and after the surgery, as conditions allow. I’m planning to buy 3-4 Kaftans, I think. Loose, flowing, easy to don and remove, these should make most days after surgery much more bearable. Bangkok’s weather sounds a lot like Houston’s – hot and humid. I’m hoping there’s plenty of shade outside because I’d like to sit outside the cottages and enjoy the fresh air.

I have another facial hair removal session for early July,  Thursday, July  2nd, since businesses are closed July 3rd to celebrate July 4th, which falls on Saturday this year. That’s a couple weeks before I fly so by the time I leave for Thailand, I’ll have some idea of how much facial hair is still left. I plan to make the next appointment for early to mid September, then another possibly for early November but we’ll see what the schedule allows.

I’m considering going home to visit my siblings this Christmas. I’ve not been there since we buried Mom, in 2012. A lot has changed since then, obviously, and I’ll have to ask if I’m wanted back there or not. I don’t expect any negativity, but we’ll see. I’ve been sadly surprised before. Plan for the worst, hope for the best, they say.

Trans people are becoming more and more visible each day in the US. And we’re winning more and more legislative battles, even while Republicans try to throw more and more legislative obstacles in our way. Yet now we have high tech companies backing us too, threatening and actually following through on those threats to take business elsewhere if Republican states openly enact bigoted laws. Indiana got a rude shock and is now spending tens of millions of taxpayer dollars trying to repair their idiocy. Personally, I hope they continue to fail and people remember what Mike Pence and the Indiana GOP actually did until they are driven from office, and state wide LGBT protections are implemented there.

I know that Texas is sweating bullets too.  Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks and several Texas businesses, Apple Computer in Austin, Dell Computer in Austin, and others are threatening to cancel Texas business expansions and even consider relocating should the Texas legislature enact anti-LGBT laws. Suddenly many anti-LGBT legislative proposals are getting tied up in committee. The GOP won’t openly oppose them, just quietly kill them, which will have to be enough for now. But make no mistake, Republicans will try this again and again and again unless we remove them from public office.

So the “transgender tipping point” from last year into this year seems real, and it’s a good thing too. More and more children are being diagnosed and helped at young ages. My therapist and I mused together that within a century there may not be any adult transitioners left. That getting the “wrong” socialization may stop happening, as children are diagnosed early, allowed to socially transition young, placed on hormone blockers, then allowed to complete transition medically at the age of 18. Those children will never suffer biological development that fails to match their inner selves. They’ll never have to unlearn one gender role and relearn a new one. In fact, they will nearly be as “stealth” as might be possible in a high tech society, with only trace information about their earliest years hinting they were ever anything other than the man or woman they show to the world. It gives me hope for trans kids tomorrow. Assuming the religious Christian Taliban doesn’t take over first, of course.

And finally, I need to find a real tablet, netbook, or notebook computer to take to Thailand. My phone was sort of trying to use for 10 days in Guadalajara. I’ll want a bit more convenience than that for a month in Thailand.

In a sense, I am now approaching the medical end of my transition. The facial hair may be done by year’s end or early next year. The other medical procedures will all be complete. The legal steps have been taken. I live and work day to day as myself finally, and I am happy doing it. I still think about losses I’ve experienced but those people made their own choices. All that I can do is go on living my life, and I plan to do just that – living finally, instead of merely existing.

Odds and Ends in February, 2015

Feb26

A recent study was published showing that long term HRT is safe for transgender persons when properly medically supervised. I highlighted that last phrase for a reason. Please do not self medicate! It’s potentially dangerous and could kill you if you don’t understand what you are doing.

People get upset claiming I pick on Republicans. No, I don’t. I pick on batshit crazy barbarians who want to take us back to the 13th century and inquisitions. More Republicans today reject evolution than accept it. And a clear majority of Republicans today, when asked, would overthrow the US constitution and make the US a right wing fundamentalist evangelical theocracy. You won’t find Democrats saying that sort of crazy. Not 57% of them.

And the reason I pick on Republicans is they are, across the country, now trying to turn my mere existence into a crime. Sound familiar? It should! That is exactly what the Nazis did to the Jews and LGBT people. And now here we are with Republicans playing the same exact theme, wanting to criminalize our mere existence, for simply going to the bathroom or something like that. Worse, these ignorant Republicans are going to criminalize XY females (yes they exist), XX males (yes, they exist), and Klinefelter’s females and males both. The ignorance and scapegoating is breathtaking in its scope and the danger it represents to human beings that the GOP clearly hates.

In personal news I am now arranging for FFS to be done in Guadalajara, Mexico with Dr. Lazaro Cardenas in late April. Once those details are finalized, I can begin arranging the scheduling for GCS with Dr. Chettawutt in late July to early August.

And my facial hair removal continues apace. It’s getting less and less. I do believe I will finish this process this year also.

This is going to be a huge year for me. There are a lot of challenges ahead but I am looking forward to them. The final medical steps should all be done, except for considering voice surgery, which I may yet do in 2016 at some point.

The Bathroom Myth – Again!

Feb8

It seems no matter how often this myth is debunked, no matter how often the statistical facts disprove the bigoted presumptions of radical right wing religious zealots, they still try to create fear, uncertainty, and doubt about transgender people (especially transgender women) by raising the threat of assault in bathrooms.

But what is the reality? This is the reality – 15 experts, including multiple state law enforcement heads, confirm that there is no problem from transgender women using the women’s restrooms. None. Nada. Zip. It doesn’t exist.

The statement from Massachusetts is particularly strongly worded:

The argument that providing transgender rights will result in an increase of sexual violence against women or men in public bathrooms is beyond specious.  The only people at risk are the transgender men and women whose rights to self-determination, dignity and freedom of violence are too often denied.  We have not heard of any problems since the passage of the law in Massachusetts in 2011, nor do we expect this to be a problem.  While cases of stranger rape and sexual violence occur, sexual violence is most often perpetrated by someone known to the victim and not a stranger in the bush or the bathroom. [Email exchange, 3/7/14, emphasis added]

Other states also note no known cases of assault in that state. Three cities chime in with similar comments. Even the single incident that the antis love to trot out, about Colleen Francis, was never about sexual assault. It was about two thirteen year old girls entering an area clearly marked “adult only”!!

So how would people feel about two boys complaining about naked women when they snuck into a strip club? How would they have felt if two boys had snuck into that adult-only sauna? And note, Colleen Francis assaulted no one. She is simply non-op transgender and was in the sauna.

It’s time to bury the trope about sexual assault in bathrooms. In Colorado that trope was used to try to roll back transgender protections in locker rooms. One Democrat who voted against that bill (which was successfully defeated) was Representative Joe Salazar, who said, “I don’t mean any disrespect towards you, but I’m offended by this bill because this is rinse-and-repeat prejudice.” Further, he said, “The reasons for non-desegregating in the 1950s and ’60s was because Mexicans and blacks somehow were sexual perverts.”

See? Same old religious arguments about a problem that does not exist being used to support hate, discrimination, bigotry, and superstitious nonsense. It’s time to end this. And we should remind these bigots that we’ve seen all these same arguments before, against blacks, against hispanics, against interracial marriage.

Adjust Your Attitude

Feb5

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” ― Winston Churchill

The above is blatantly and starkly true. For years, I let the pessimist in me hold me back. Finally, reaching rock bottom, I reached out for help and found a therapist who helped me find the “glass half full” perspective on things. I’ve taken that initial learning and begun to apply that to more and more parts of my life. And I also learned to admit that I can’t do things alone, reaching out for help, and finding it. And finally, I learned to let go of those who didn’t want to support me instead of obsessing over losing them. I realized they had walked away from me, not the other way around, so I let them go. Yes, it hurt but once I made that admission, that they no longer wanted me in their lives, I was able to heal from that hurt.

This all comes down to “adjust your attitude”.

I see many trans folk each day saying “I can’t” or “Soandso won’t let me” and the only ones who, in my opinion, can legitimately say that are our trans youth. They are stuck with their parents and whether or not their parents accept them. But if you are an adult, you get to choose. And sometimes we have to accept that we cannot have our cake and eat it too.

When it became apparent that further fighting my inner self was going to kill me, I finally relented. I have people to whom I gave decades of my life, and literally hundreds of thousands of dollars from my total earnings who now openly despise me. But I knew that I had to be me and if they could not accept me, that was their loss.

By adjusting my attitude, by seeing the “glass half full” as often as I can, I’ve managed to move steadily forward. I’m accepted as myself anywhere in public (except occasionally around a few people I knew from before). I am full time. My legal name is now Cara, not David. I am still professionally valued and supported at work.

By realizing that nothing comes easily, by focusing on “baby steps” (thank you Paula Ult, Mia, Carolyn, and so many more for that advice!!), I have accomplished far more than I ever expected and now am on the verge of getting even more done.

All of this stems from a change in attitude. I stopped arguing with myself. I stopped accepting society’s definitions for many things and as I did so, I learned that science had already walked away from those cultural falsehoods as well. I stopped letting my rational mind limit me. I stopped letting other people define me and chose to define myself, listening to my heart, my intuition, my inner sense of self. And in doing these things, I have found personal peace.

So if there is one piece of advice I would give to each person who is unsure of themselves, it is this – adjust your attitude! I know this is not easy, but until you do, you will be just like I was – foundering in your own self-doubts and fears.

P.S. Enjoy the journey!! “Don’t be concerned about reaching your destination. Enjoy the journey and the destination will take care of itself.” Jenny Marie