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Trans Kids Know Who They Are

Transgender children know who they are, and they know this at a deep and fundamental level, just like cisgender kids do too. This is further proof that our sense of gender identity is very deep and below the rational thought level within the human brain. It also raises serious questions about how detrimental parents trying to “condition” their child to accept their desired gender for the child can be versus allowing the child to express their natural gender identity.

Transgender kids show consistent gender identity across measures

“A study with 32 transgender children, ages 5 to 12, indicates that the gender identity of these children is deeply held and is not the result of confusion about gender identity or pretense. The study is one of the first to explore gender identity in transgender children using implicit measures that operate outside conscious awareness and are, therefore, less susceptible to modification than self-report measures.”

That’s significant. It’s important too because it further removes the wind from the radical right wing religious extremists who insist that “God doesn’t make mistakes” in trying to argue that male is male and female is female. Well guess what? God doesn’t make mistakes and God made those kids trans! So deal with it, religious zealots!

This further indicts the horrible sexual fixation of modern western Judeo-Christian culture and the detrimental mental health impacts that distorted view of reality has caused to so many people, not just trans people, but many, many more. Our ingrained cultural notions of gender, sexuality, and how these things intertwine are fundamentally broken and not aligned with reality at all. It’s time we cast superstitious nonsense aside and embrace reality as it is, not as some radical extremist preacher wishes it were.

Hello, December

It’s December again, a time of year that used to bring more smiles to my face than others. But now not so much. There are three grandchildren that I once again will not see this Christmas. And there is the memory of my mother, gone on December 10th, 2012, but it still feels like yesterday. That ache is still there. That hole is still there. I miss you, mom, but I know you loved me and would want me to get on with my life.

I am also amused, because someone reblogged one of my blog entries about the neurobiological basis of being trans. From there that post got onto Facebook. From Facebook, it seemed to spread pretty quick elsewhere! And because of that, let me say welcome to all the new folks following my blog. Thanks for reading about the thoughts and life events of one woman as she struggles to really find herself.

I went to the TG pot luck this year here in Houston. It was busy, and noisy, thus hard for me to interact with very many people due to my hearing issues. Yet a few made the effort and tried. I appreciated that. It was pleasant and thoughtful of them to do so.

But if I am honest with myself, this December is better than so many prior Decembers in so many ways that it is hard to describe. So I view this month with a kind of joy, tempered by my mother’s memory and three grandchildren who will no longer know me.

And yet I wouldn’t change anything of the last 31 months at this point either. To even be here, living, breathing, and not have wrapped myself around a concrete abutment at 130 mph as I once planned makes me smile. My spiritual sisters make me smile, and laugh! Being pushed out of my comfort zone by those who love me, and who seem to know just how hard to push or not push makes me happy.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could snap my fingers and be done with this, be finished with all the medical aspects of transitioning and then just live my life. I’m even developing plans for what to do after I’m done transitioning! But the process itself is bringing me precious beautiful memories, moments that brought me to joyful tears, and knowledge that I am loved and accepted. When I stop and realize that, the trials of transitioning turn out to have hidden rewards of their own. I’m following the yellow brick road, and while I wish I could click my heels three times and be done, it’s actually turning out to be better for me to walk that road first.

To each of you I wish Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Festive Yule, Happy Kwanzaa, or whatever other holiday wish is appropriate to you and yours this month. I pray that 2014 was kind to each of you and that 2015 will bring each of you blessings in abundance.