Tag Archive | Tolerance

Transgender Day of Remembrance 2014 – The Day After

TDOR-2014And… not a word from the official Republican side of the aisle. The number of Republicans speaking about TDOR was small – like an aide to Christie Whitman read a letter from her at a TDOR event.

I tire of hearing that there are “good people” in the GOP. Where are they? Why do almost none speak out even on TDOR? Why do they remain silent in the face of blatant hateful bigotry that celebrates our deaths?

The Republican Party is a moral monstrosity. A hate machine dedicated to subjugation and demeaning of human beings who do not fit their white Republican Protestant middle class ideals. Blacks know this, Hispanics know this, Asian-Americans know this, gays and lesbians know this, and transgender people ought to know this though it seems a few of my brothers and sisters have their heads buried deeply in the sands.

Todd Kincannon, former executive director of the South Carolina Republican Party, says “There are people who respect transgender rights. And there are people who think you should all be put in a camp. That’s me.”

Where were the Republicans when that statement was made by a former high ranking GOP official? They were silently applauding in the background and promising to gut ENDA if any transgender protections were included. That’s where they were.

Meanwhile, in the past we’ve had statements like this from Republicans in Iowa on 2010 when the governor recognized TDOR that year:

IFPC Action President Chuck Hurley commented on the Governor’s proclamation by saying, “Governor Culver not only failed to keep his promise to the people of Iowa concerning the defense of marriage, but now is using the power of his office and the dignity of the state of Iowa to promote sexual confusion and deviant behavior.”

Hurley added, “Iowans know that Governor Culver does not share their values. As if the Governor’s unwillingness to exercise the influence of his office in the defense of marriage wasn’t evidence enough, we now know that he is spending his time creating special days celebrating sexual disorientation. The question that Iowans ought to be asking is why Governor Culver wasn’t proud enough of his work to make his actions public?”

So if you tell me again that there are “good” Republicans in office out there, I’d like to ask you to point them out to me. And if you do, you will find that their numbers are astonishingly small.

I leave you with this thought on the day after TDOR:

“The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.” — MLK, Jr.

The silence of the GOP shines with a bright heat and I know from whence that heat comes.

I Had A Wonderful Ren Fest

For the weekend of November 7-10 (Friday through Monday), a large number of friends came into town for the Texas Renaissance Festival. It’s always good to see these particular faces and this time was no different, though seeing me may have been a little different for all concerned.

We had another great dinner Friday evening at Vero’s Italian Kitchen. Saturday at the Fest was interesting, as it always is, and led to all sorts of fun discussions among us. Saturday evening we all got together at Willie’s Hamburger place. My only real regret that evening was a friend who had wanted to come this year had passed away a few months previously and was no longer among us.

We did, however, discuss all manner of things, as we seemingly always do and just about nothing was off limits, including my own recent eye opening experiences, at which the other women present said “Welcome to the sisterhood” and “Now you see what it’s really like!” Let me assure anyone who doubts in the least, at all, there very definitely is such a thing as male privilege and I’m experiencing not having it anymore at all and it’s both amusing and annoying. And further, too many men in our culture do treat women as sexual objects instead of people. Believe me, I’m seeing that too, up close and personal.

I also am having trouble getting my head around men either coming on to me or men just looking at me in a clearly sexual manner. It comes with the territory, I know. And intellectually, I was ready for this and even had experienced it in limited ways in the past. But now, since I’d gone full time back in September, it was actually getting common. I understand the annoyance of that woman in the video that went viral and believe me, being a lot older, I don’t look near as pretty as she does, but those comments, leers, whistles, and other things are definitely out there. One fellow at the Ren Fest even looked me in the eye before giving me the “appraisal” look from head to toe, even while he was holding his wife’s hand as she had their baby on her shoulder. I just shook my head at that.

Part of the problem is also realizing what my friends keep telling me – I look very good for an older woman. Now I don’t have a full length mirror at home but there was one at the hotel and seeing myself in that and ready for the day’s activities at Ren Fest, I realized my friends were telling me the truth. I have a pretty nice figure. Of course, it’s one thing to hear certain words intellectually. It’s another thing to really feel them in your heart.

And Monday was some obligatory thrift shop hopping, this time mostly at the Salvation Army store in the next town over from where I live. We discovered that me being over 50 meant half off every Monday on everything for the 50+ crowd and there was also a half off Saturday for everyone in case I wanted to return for that. I’m planning to take my daughter with me there and perhaps a few other people as well. It should be fun.

Work continues to go very smoothly. I work for an awesome company and I appreciate that very much. They’ve made this process easier than I ever expected it to be. I am completely accepted at work and thoroughly supported on any issues I have had thus far.

There are other things I considered writing about here but I’ve abstained because there is someone who stalks me through this blog. I’ll just let her wonder at my early and unexpected Christmas gift. 🙂

Random Thoughts on Patriarchy, Gender, and World Views

Recently, at another online forum where I participate, a woman named Paula mentioned how other people’s perception of her changed as she went from self-identifying as a cross dresser to identifying as transgender then transitioning to live as a woman full time. As a cross dresser she found herself often disdained, even called “pervert” by some but as transgender transitioning the reactions generally became either empathetic or pity. Her post gave rise to lots of thoughts for me on this, but that forum is probably not the place for such a posting or discussion so I’ll do it here.

Our society is deeply wrapped up in its own creation – the gender binary. We’re taught that this is “normal”, so much so that it requires scholars actually digging for and interpreting what was obviously right in front of the faces of people in the past. For example, many ancient middle eastern societies recognized 3, 4, 5, and even 6 genders. The Code of Hammurabi has a section governing the fair treatment of “male daughters”. Native Americans embraced transsexual people as being of “two spirits” and often gave them elevated status in the tribe.

Yet in today’s society, largely shaped by its Judeo-Christian heritage, a heritage that is obsessed with male dominance, patriarchy, and two genders, people tend to see anyone outside the binary “norm” as problematic in different ways.

The gender binary you see in western civilization today is not “normal” for homo sapiens when viewed across history but it is “normal” within the context of our own civilization. I take some small comfort in that knowledge that our society itself is aberrant but I still have to deal with our current society which has self-defeating and crippling ideas about gender.

Having never publicly admitted to being a cross dresser, despite cross dressing most of my life in private, I’ve not had the experiences that Paula has. Yet it does not surprise me. The reaction to trans folk, especially transwomen is obvious. It’s either “you think you’re a woman” (as in the speaker does not actually believe it but goes along with you out of pity) or “you are a woman” (so there is some empathy, including over how difficult this must be) or “you’re a male no matter what you do” (which is outright rejection of your self-identification). But with cross dressers there is something else – “you’re a guy but you like women’s clothing?” which is seen as weird, hence the disdain.

What I find most amusing is those women, cis or trans, who even directly experiencing this yet continue to deny the impacts of patriarchy on women. But hey, there are people who still deny climate change, who deny the bad effects of smoking, and even deny that the earth is round so I guess this shouldn’t surprise me. People will defend their world view even violently rather than accept data that invalidates their world view, usually because their world view is part of their greater identity socially in some group. Risking their world view risks their place in their own social circles, hence the rejection of factual data that contradicts that world view.

In conclusion, it becomes obvious how deeply and badly gender binary patriarchy has shaped our current society, how crippling it is for those of us outside its norms, and even gives insights into how we might begin to change this. Changing a society’s deeply held gender beliefs is not something we will accomplish in our lifetimes but it is something we can work towards so that people someday can be who they are without fear of rejection or ostracism.

Odds and Ends in the Lazy Days of Summer

After this last facial hair removal session, I’m enjoying an extended period of absolutely no facial hair at all. I know the neck and jawline will come back pretty strong again but given where we were on the upper and lower lip and center of the chin, as well as the cheeks, things may be pretty darned sparse from here on out. And for the moment, I’m enjoying it.

I am also noticing how rapidly skin with no facial hair returns to coloring similar to the rest of the face. At the same time there are texture differences from years of facial hair and shaving, so I can see why some transwomen opt to have full facial peels once the facial hair is gone. I’ll definitely want to give it time to heal afterwards but what I’m seeing is even more reason to consider a full facial peel eventually.

Today was interesting for another reason as well. My endocrinologist started me on progesterone. Progesterone should help further the breast development as well as put a little more rear end on me. At least that is the theory. But another side effect of progesterone is increases in hair growth. Since I’m trying to grow mine back, or as much as I can, this is rather welcome. I hope that it helps the process along. Well, both processes! 🙂

That brings me to another item. After coordinating with HR and my boss, I will be officially coming out to my teammates on August 11th. We’ve reviewed and edited my coming out statement. The meeting will be short and I’ll read that then offer to take any questions after the meeting is “officially over”. HR said we must do it that way so that if anyone wants to leave, they can. However, I honestly expect everyone to stay and ask a few questions. But we’ll see. Regardless, it will soon be done and then all that’s left between me and fulltime is the legal paperwork in September or October.

And the last item for this entry. I was saddened to hear of another transwoman who took her life recently. But what angered me were her family, who in their total rejection of her drove her towards that suicide. That same family today took over her Facebook page, changed her name back to her male name, and said the services would be in “his” honor. Even in death, they desecrate someone. That is how sick, twisted, and evil those who hate us actually are.

A Short Update For June

Another month gone and I’ve been so busy!

The end of May saw the fourth facial hair removal session. This one has produced some visible differences. I suspect the next session, in mid-July, will produce even more noticeable differences.

I’ve been out with my daughter a few more times and had a good time each time. We went out on a Friday and had a great evening together, and then on Sunday, just two women out to brunch, even though it was Father’s Day and that was my daughter’s real reason for taking me out. She made me happy. We’re maybe going shopping together tomorrow, though she’s not felt as well lately so that may get postponed. I am planning to attend the Houston Pride parade on June 28th also so there’s lots going on for me.

I could comment about my sons, but there’s nothing to comment there. There never is. No cards, no letters, no emails, no phone calls, no text messages.. nothing. I’d forgive them what they’ve done but I don’t think they want that. Unfortunately, they closed that door, and only they can re-open it. And I will state that the recent circular logic rationalizations that were relayed to me about their behavior is unfortunate. Apparently they believe they can treat me as badly as they wish but if I ever say a single word about their behavior, it becomes their rationalization to never speak to me again. Talk about backwards!

On the work front things continue to move forward. We’re aiming at a coming out meeting in July or perhaps August. I have a meeting with HR and the new HR rep for our building on the 30th so I am looking forward to that, and to continued coordination about this. My finances still look on track to be able to afford the name and gender marker change actions in September or October. I am going to shoot for September, but we’ll see how that works out.

There’s been continued HRT goodness and I’m pleased overall on that front.

I realize this is just a short update, catching up, but I seem to be in a groove now, as things continue to move forward. I wish they could move faster but reality and finances are my key throttles right now and I have to deal with those as things allow. I have decided that after the legal paperwork is done, I’ll take a $3500 short detour and get the Matristem ACell + PRP scalp treatment to try to stimulate  more hair growth. And after that, all my savings will be towards GRS, which I am now strongly considering doing in Thailand, given the costs and that my insurance refuses to cover it.