Privilege Is Not Inherent

Jan23

I recently saw an anti-transgender feminist rant that male-to-female transgender persons do not “lose” male privilege because it is inherent. Yet the feminist movement provides examples counter to this as does history itself. Let’s look at just a few.

In the 19th century, Irish began arriving in the United States. They were very strongly “othered” by the existing white establishment, who treated them badly (but not nearly as badly as people of color). Irish did not have “white privilege” simply by being white. In fact, white privilege was something that whites grant to each other, and if they do not grant it to someone else, it’s not there.

Another example is light skinned persons of color have frequently written about how they obtain and can exploit white privilege unless they reveal their racial heritage. And then it’s gone. They get othered from that moment forward by people who know.

A third example comes from the feminist community itself. Feminists have long argued about how strongly “butch” lesbians can and do gain male privilege in certain situations. They have also documented how that privilege vanishes when someone discovers they are dealing with a lesbian rather than another male. Again, privilege was not inherent. It was granted.

The reason I bring this up, and I refuse to link to the offending anti-transgender rant that spawned this blog post, is that the entire rant rested on the assumption that MtF transgender people “possess” male privilege and therefore every single conclusion in that rant is suspect. Logical conclusions that rest upon faulty assumptions are, themselves faulty. Therefore every conclusion in that rant is useless, suspect, and faulty.

Looking Back at 2015

Jan17

The year 2015 will be a pretty important year for me in numerous respects. A lot happened and I learned a lot along the way. 2015 was the first year I lived as myself full time. My legal paperwork was done in September 2014 and I was full time thereafter, no looking back.

In January of 2015, I decided to make things happen and stop waiting for them to happen. I have one life to live and I decided I wasn’t sacrificing that life for my spouse’s retirement, especially since she no longer plans to be with me. So I cashed out one of my IRAs and put that money to work.

In February I scurried about getting paperwork submitted for my passport, which I paid extra for “express” handling and I got it just a few weeks later. My name, photo, and a nice big “F” in the gender box made me smile. March became a waiting game, basically waiting for April, and also further realigning myself at work as my colleagues continued to become accustomed to my new presentation.

I underwent FFS in April with Dr. Cardenas, in Guadalajara, Mexico, where I also met the amazing Anne Kelley. We shared a particularly powerful moment during both our recoveries that was bonding, and was a revelation. It was about Anne so if people want to know the details, they should ask her, but for me it was emotionally powerful to see someone coming to terms with themselves in such a beautiful and loving manner.

May was recovery. Let me tell you right now that FFS was far worse and harder in terms of recovery than my GCS, which came later in 2015. FFS was so worth it, but it was a bear in terms of recovery for the first few weeks. I’m happy with my appearance though and I’ve gotten compliments on it, and most importantly, it helped me to stop seeing “him” in the mirror anymore.

June was more waiting and continued recover. Friends and I began planning for Ren Fest in November. We always try to plan several months in advance to give people time to plan for a specific weekend. There were also details to complete, medical tests and exams before my GCS surgery, all of which had to be submitted to Dr. Chettawut’s staff in Bangkok before I even left.

July came and a good friend, Ashley Wilson headed to Thailand ahead of me by about two weeks. I did get to see her while I was there later, before she flew back to the US. And after seeing her, it was my turn. I awoke from GCS and really wasn’t in much pain at all, mainly just uncomfortable. They kept me pretty well controlled with pain meds and such. And my dear, dear friend, Julie Jeznach, had traveled to Thailand with me and was there to visit while I was in the hospital and to help me with my recovery for the three weeks afterwards. We had a lot of fun for the month we were there. I over stressed myself once, got scolded for it, then spent a day and a half recovering from it. Fortunately, no permanent damage. And I learned the tedium and the joys of dilating! And yet we saw things, ate fascinating food, met people, and Julie got to see the Tiger Temple!

In mid-August we flew back home. It seemed almost surreal, Julie and I going our separate ways. I also know that Thailand had been good for Julie too. Good food, regular exercise, walking (for us both as little as I could do) all contributed to Bangkok being a positive experience for us. But then it was over. I rested another week then returned to work while working from home. Working from home was a blessing. As circumstances turned out, and as the changes on our team at work developed, it would arise that I wouldn’t need to actually go back into the office until some time in January, 2016. The rest of 2015 was 100% from home, which gave me time to adapt to my dilation schedule, take breaks as needed, etc. Often my work day the rest of the year went past 6 pm, but that included time for breaks and medical necessities throughout the day as well.

September and October were much the same, except the reminder and the ongoing lesson that I don’t really have family anymore.  I know there are some who might disagree, but being ignored, having things said behind your back, pretending you don’t exist on important family days (birthdays and holiday), does not constitute “love” except in some sort of deranged “religious” mind. I won’t comment further about that except that their behavior reveals a lot more about them than it does about anything else.

Out of that comes a lesson, for me at least. We’re repeatedly told to remove toxic people from our lives. I subscribe to that idea, but implementing it in practice is complicated and is often a process, not a single decision. It’s a process because our hearts don’t always listen to what our heads tell us, and vice-versa. In this case, my head knows I don’t have family and I need to let go and treat them like I treated my father, someone to whom I was biologically related but who are anything except family, based on their behavior. But the heart takes time to let go, often not wanting to accept what the mind otherwise knows to be true.

The last few years have been that process for me and I think I hit rock bottom and was finally able to put this behind me in December of 2015. And no, there was no danger of self harm, just a great sadness and listlessness as my heart realized what my mind has been telling me for a number of years now – you have no blood family.

I also began an online dating experiment in autumn of 2015, and discovered that clearly stating that I am a post-op transgender woman, up front, is a sure way to not get responses from anyone except thoughtless men, who in turn blocked me when they did find out, or from identity thieves, whom I seem to be getting better at identifying, especially since some of them are so pathetic. Out of nearly 400 messages received thus far, only 4 read my profile and realized I was trans, and only 2 of those were really interested in some sort of friendship or relationship. Unfortunately, both of them were very far away and both they and I were looking for someone closer.

November was fun, with time at Ren Fest spent with my friend Elizabeth and myself both dressed up in garish costumes. But I think I want to modify mine more for next year. Maybe replace the heavy leather shoulder pauldrons with fur ones and a few other changes. There were also minor outings, manicure and pedicure, buying some new clothes, and otherwise enjoying myself.

November blended into December, and for the most part, I ignored the Christmas season. Dwelling on it too much was painful. And my mind and heart had to work that out in their own way, as I described earlier.

2015 ended and I was in a sense, relieved. It was over. Time marches on and 2016 is before us. I’m hoping to carve out time for at least one trip this year, perhaps back to Memphis. And maybe, if I can financially swing it, a trip elsewhere. We’ll see.

Choosing to be myself has had a cost, a saddening cost but one which I would still pay, because the alternative was no longer being able to live with myself. Despite rejection from those I’ve loved and to whom I’ve literally given my heart, my life, and even my finances for over thirty years, I still would make the same choice. My choice was to live and I am content with that choice, despite the costs.

One More Time – The New Brain Study Does NOT Refute Current Neurobiological Models of Being Transgender

Dec5

I’ve been challenged elsewhere by people about my contention that this new “no female or male brain” does not invalidate the older neurobiological studies that show a neurobiological link to being transgender. I asserted it did not. Others flatly asserted it did.

So, I went directly to Professor Daphna Joel, one of the authors of this study. Below is my query, and below that is the screenshot of her reply.

She agrees with me that this study does not invalidate the neurobiological model of gender identity. Read that again. And then read that again.

LetterToProfJoel

 

Here is here response.

 

LetterFromProfJoel

In fact, she agrees with me that it is very possible that just a few key structures control our sense of gender identity. So the next time some gender critical feminist tries to cite this study and say that being transgender is a “social” phenomenon only, refer them here. The truth is we still do not know, and while the body of evidence is growing, the important point is this study does not invalidate the neurobiological model of why we are transgender.

New Brain Study Reinforces Neurobiological Explanation of Being Transgender

Dec2

A new brain study was released that shows human brains are a mosaic of male and female structures. A few people have tried to use this study to discredit all the other studies that have identified specific differences in male and female brains, and how transgender people have brains that are more like the gender with which they identify than the gender assigned at birth.

MTF_Brain_Scan_differences

Let’s remember this slide for a moment, ok? Don’t lose sight of this image on this slide.

The new study, The brains of men and women aren’t really that different, study finds, does not say that male and female brains are identical. It says they are extremely similar and that any male or female brain has a large mix of more male or more female structures. In addition, this study looked at the overall brain, at the topology of the total brain to reach its conclusion.

Now interestingly, this study actually reinforces the existing neurobiological research into transgender brains thus far. How can it do that? Because it shows how similar male and female brains are, and what that means is you don’t have to have a “completely female” brain to be an MtF trans woman or a “completely male” brain to be an FtM trans man.

Instead, this study further enhances that it is only a few small critical structures, just like the BSTc in the slide previously that which is tiny! It’s inside the hypothalamus, which itself is about the size of a peanut. And then it’s inside the stria terminalis, which is a small structure inside the hypothalamus itself. And then the difference is in the bed nucleus, which is inside the stria terminalis which is inside that tiny hypothalamus. And we already know from other studies that this region of the brain appears to be linked to gender identity and somewhat also towards sexual orientation.

So the studies done to date do not contradict the neurobiological thesis for being transgender. In fact, this study further enhances that work by showing how small the changes can be that lead one to feeling gender identity dysphoria.

When people try to argue that this study disproves a biological basis for being transgender, refer them to my comments here. This study reinforces the neurobiological model.

I will add here, a diagram from the TED Talk of one of the scientists involved in this study. The brain itself is neither male nor female. It’s always a mosaic of structures. But the mosaic consists of a mixture of male and female structures. And every human brain is like this. So rather than having a “female” brain or a “male” brain, what matters are those few individual structures that control sense of gender identity.

IntersexBrains

LGBT Republicans, Stop Giving Me The ‘Single Issue’ Excuse

Oct25

DestructionOfMiddleClass

I often ask LGBT Republicans why they vote for the GOP despite the GOP’s open hostility towards LGBT people. The answer is usually something along the lines of “I’m not a single issue voter!” Well, let’s look at that utter nonsense, shall we?

Economically, since 1980, tax rates on the wealthy have steadily fallen due to Republican influence. If tax cuts created jobs, we should be swimming in them, but we’re not. Instead, as the chart on the right shows, Republican led economics, since 1980, have led to the shrinking of the middle class. It’s a documented fact that the economy always does better under Democratic presidents than Republican ones.

Then there’s the deficit. Republicans love to scream about the deficit. But who are the only presidents in the last 50 years to reduce the deficit? Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, both Democrats.

And discussion of the deficit leads to discussion of the national debt. Who tripled the national debt? Ronald Reagan. Who was on course to double the national debt before he lost a second term? The elder George Bush. Who did double the national debt? The younger George Bush. And the younger George Bush did that with a completely Republican Congress after being handed a balanced budget that was paying down the national debt under Bill Clinton.

How, in the face of these facts, can any person believe anything the GOP says about economics? HOW? What sort of twisted mental outlook does it take to lie to yourself to convince yourself that you should vote for these failures and liars?

ExecutiveOrdersAnnuallyByPresidentRepublicans scream about Obama issuing executive orders, but he’s issued the lowest annual rate of executive orders since Grover Cleveland! Here is a chart showing the number of executive orders issued per year and Obama in no way issues more than Republicans. So that’s another lie.

And the orders Obama has issued have largely been because Republicans have refused to work with a president elected by massive popular vote as a means of punishing the entire nation for daring to reject their right wing extremist views!

When do you, as Republicans, stop and look at reality and realize that it is your party that is being obstructionist? That it is your party that is exhibiting every sign of racism imaginable? That it is your party that wants to institutionalize bigotry against LGBT people’s civil rights as some sort of “religious freedom”?

So economically, everything about the GOP has been a lie and destructive to you, the middle class voter. Every single thing. Have they been right ever about anything? Can Republicans ever even tell the truth economically?

Then there’s the false bogeyman of “gun control”. LGBT people who vote based on this single issue wrongfully claim that Democrats want to ban all guns. Nothing could be further from the truth. Howard Dean made the case several years ago that extremism (notice that word?) about gun control was a losing political issue, so the Democratic party looked at that and realized it was true, and walked away from that. Yet the Republicans still try to throw that charge against Democrats even as they try to ignore mass shooting after mass shooting. Even as they try to ignore massive levels of gun violence among our poor (and largely minority) communities. Yet the GOP continues to push absurd notions like every teacher being a walking armory rather than other measures that have worked in other nations. But nothing demonstrates that hypocrisy like the NRA’s own convention where guns were banned. I wonder why they did that, hmm?

Then there’s the issue of voter suppression. The GOP works tirelessly to enact laws that are aimed at suppressing would-be Democrats (poor minorities and women) from voting. They’e even admitted this. Here’s a collection of public Republican statements about the real effects and real intentions of “voter id” laws: Unbelievable GOP Statements on Voter Suppression

And yet despite openly saying that, Republican voters refuse to listen to what their own party leaders admit, and cling, irrationally, to the idea that voter id laws will clean up some non-existent voter fraud problem.

Then there’s the War Of A Thousand Lies. Iraq was the war where Republicans proved, over and over and over again, that they will lie about anything to start a war to make their corporate buddies rich. And that’s what happened. Cheney’s Halliburton raked in $35 billion alone from the Iraq war. And those nearly 1000 lies? They killed over 4000 Americans, wounded another 30,000+ Americans, and killed hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians. There’s no morality that can excuse what the GOP did to get us into the Iraq war or excuse the human costs of the Iraq war.

Then there’s the truth that the GOP has introduced over 120 anti-LGBT bills this year at the state and local levels around the United States. How many have Democrats introduced? Zero. The GOP hates you if you are LGBT. And thinking you can change the GOP from within? How’s that working out for the Log Cabin Republicans? In the 1970s, the GOP didn’t even care about LGBT people. They weren’t for us, but they were not rabidly against us. But today they are foaming at the mouth against LGBT people everywhere, trying to pass laws that would institutionalize bigotry against LGBT people, and yet some of you vote Republican?

I could go on and on, but I won’t. Voting Republican as an LGBT person is an act of insanity. Don’t give me the “single issue” voter excuse and dismiss me being LGBT as my reason for voting Democrat.  I vote Democrat because Democrats are not war mongers, because Democrats are good for the economy, because Democrats want to improve and enforce reasonable restrictions on buying and owning guns, because Democrats have actually been good at controlling and even reducing the national debt, because Democrats want you to have health care, because Democrats believe you should not retire in poverty.

Voting Democrat as an LGBT person doesn’t make me a single issue voter. It makes you positively insane for believing all those Republican lies when the plain facts in front of your face tell you they are not true.

So what excuse do you have now for voting Republican? It’s sure not a “single issue, LGBT” excuse, is it?