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Leelah Alcorn – Her Death and Facing Human Monsters Among Us

Jan2

People are trying to whitewash what Doug and Carla Alcorn did to their child. I’m having none of it. They chose to be religious bigots. They chose to ignore medical and scientific fact in favor of 6000 year old superstitious nonsense. As surely as Leelah was their child, they also killed their own child with their words and by sending their child to therapists who practice a form of therapy that is considered “unethical” by both the AMA and the APA. They helped kill their child by authorizing three times the dose of Prozac recommended for children, when Prozac itself is proven to increase suicidality in children.

I will not stand by and submit to the nonsense being spewed by Carla Alcorn about “unconditional love”. If that’s what love looks like, then that kind of love kills.

I will not excuse James Dobson and his hypocritical motto “Families: where life begins and love never ends” because his transphobic rantings fueled the Alcorns extremist positions. For Leelah Alcorn, Dobson’s advice as “Families: where life ends and love never begins.”

I will not stand by and excuse them for their role in this because the culture around them “brainwashed” them. They had a choice and they deliberately chose scientific ignorance over medical fact.

It’s time to end this religious superstitious nonsense. It’s time to make reparative therapy a felony crime, including when practiced by “religious” therapists!

As a nation, we no longer tolerate lots of fundamentalist nonsense. We no longer allow women to be sold to the man that raped her to be forced to be his “wife”. We no longer tolerate “curse of Ham” religious reasoning for racial bigotry. There are lots of fundamentalist extremist ideas to which this nation has already said “NO!”

Now it’s time to say no to Reparative Therapy – a form of psychological abuse and torture intended to force someone to conform to gender and sexual stereotypes. It’s time to ban reparative therapy and make it a nationwide federal felony. And it’s time to prosecute and imprison every barbaric monster who insists on practicing this superstitious nonsense.

And to close, I’ll go one step further. We need to prosecute the therapists who helped kill Leelah Alcorn.. Punish them. Because they still think what they did was right and that, in itself, is a horror and a wrong that a respectable society should not tolerate.

Please sign the petition for Leelah’s Law, to ban reparative therapy throughout the entire United States. It’s time to strike back at the human monsters among us and remove them from civilized society. Let’s pass Leelah’s Law so no more children face Leelah’s fate. And let’s prosecute the Alcorns and the therapists who took part in this religious killing. It’s time.

Transgender Day of Remembrance 2014 – The Day After

Nov21

TDOR-2014And… not a word from the official Republican side of the aisle. The number of Republicans speaking about TDOR was small – like an aide to Christie Whitman read a letter from her at a TDOR event.

I tire of hearing that there are “good people” in the GOP. Where are they? Why do almost none speak out even on TDOR? Why do they remain silent in the face of blatant hateful bigotry that celebrates our deaths?

The Republican Party is a moral monstrosity. A hate machine dedicated to subjugation and demeaning of human beings who do not fit their white Republican Protestant middle class ideals. Blacks know this, Hispanics know this, Asian-Americans know this, gays and lesbians know this, and transgender people ought to know this though it seems a few of my brothers and sisters have their heads buried deeply in the sands.

Todd Kincannon, former executive director of the South Carolina Republican Party, says “There are people who respect transgender rights. And there are people who think you should all be put in a camp. That’s me.”

Where were the Republicans when that statement was made by a former high ranking GOP official? They were silently applauding in the background and promising to gut ENDA if any transgender protections were included. That’s where they were.

Meanwhile, in the past we’ve had statements like this from Republicans in Iowa on 2010 when the governor recognized TDOR that year:

IFPC Action President Chuck Hurley commented on the Governor’s proclamation by saying, “Governor Culver not only failed to keep his promise to the people of Iowa concerning the defense of marriage, but now is using the power of his office and the dignity of the state of Iowa to promote sexual confusion and deviant behavior.”

Hurley added, “Iowans know that Governor Culver does not share their values. As if the Governor’s unwillingness to exercise the influence of his office in the defense of marriage wasn’t evidence enough, we now know that he is spending his time creating special days celebrating sexual disorientation. The question that Iowans ought to be asking is why Governor Culver wasn’t proud enough of his work to make his actions public?”

So if you tell me again that there are “good” Republicans in office out there, I’d like to ask you to point them out to me. And if you do, you will find that their numbers are astonishingly small.

I leave you with this thought on the day after TDOR:

“The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.” — MLK, Jr.

The silence of the GOP shines with a bright heat and I know from whence that heat comes.

Rationalizations, Exploitation, and Selfishness

Oct5

Today I read a discussion elsewhere that attempted to rationalize the decision to not transition when someone clearly wanted to transition. Excuses included relationships with people who could not accept the truth. This specific argument bothered me greatly.

The argument that “I can’t transition because [insert family member here] can’t accept it” is a rationalization. It marks someone who is in a dependent relationship, not a healthy relationship. It also marks someone who knows very well that they are not loved unconditionally as a human being but instead is “loved” very conditionally. This is called being in a codependent relationship. It’s not healthy.

I experienced all this and looking back on it, it was pure and utter nonsense. How do I know this? How would these same family members react if I said I had cancer? Well, I know the answer to that question because I had and beat cancer eighteen years ago. And for that medical problem, people constantly urged me forward, to not give up, to have hope, to get well. The exact same people who today openly, viciously, and cruelly condemn me for addressing this health issue supported me when it wasn’t a health issue that challenged their own world view.

And you see, that is the height of selfishness.

“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. And unselfishness is letting other people’s lives alone, not interfering with them. Selfishness always aims at creating around it an absolute uniformity of type. Unselfishness recognises infinite variety of type as a delightful thing, accepts it, acquiesces in it, enjoys it. It is not selfish to think for oneself. A man who does not think for himself does not think at all. It is grossly selfish to require of one’s neighbour that he should think in the same way, and hold the same opinions. Why should he? If he can think, he will probably think differently. If he cannot think, it is monstrous to require thought of any kind from him. A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses.”

― Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man and Prison Writings

Oscar Wilde’s comments ring true today too.

It’s not the person transitioning who is selfish. That person is simply addressing a verified medical condition as per the American Medical Association and American Psychological Association. Transgender people aren’t mentally ill. It’s a treatable medical condition.

And yet the exact same people who urged me forward, who supported me as I sought treatment for cancer to become well again, have treated me with deliberate, cruel, vicious disdain for seeking treatment for gender dysphoria caused by an accident of birth.

I do not question those who choose to not transition out of fear of reactions of “loved” ones. I understand that fear all too well. But what I would question is whether those people truly love you or whether you are a mere convenience in your current form for them who would become an inconvenience in another form.

Because, having lived this, it sure looks to me like a lot of people who claim to “love” their transgender relatives do nothing of the kind and instead are selfish individuals who are using their transgender relative for their own purposes, whatever those might be and who fear losing whatever convenience that relative currently provides.

Those of you who are trans need to ask yourselves whether you are really loved or whether you are just being used. I suspect that you’ll find that you’re just being used. I certainly discovered that sad truth and I sacrificed hugely for what turned out to be nothing in the end.

Random Thoughts on Patriarchy, Gender, and World Views

Aug1

Recently, at another online forum where I participate, a woman named Paula mentioned how other people’s perception of her changed as she went from self-identifying as a cross dresser to identifying as transgender then transitioning to live as a woman full time. As a cross dresser she found herself often disdained, even called “pervert” by some but as transgender transitioning the reactions generally became either empathetic or pity. Her post gave rise to lots of thoughts for me on this, but that forum is probably not the place for such a posting or discussion so I’ll do it here.

Our society is deeply wrapped up in its own creation – the gender binary. We’re taught that this is “normal”, so much so that it requires scholars actually digging for and interpreting what was obviously right in front of the faces of people in the past. For example, many ancient middle eastern societies recognized 3, 4, 5, and even 6 genders. The Code of Hammurabi has a section governing the fair treatment of “male daughters”. Native Americans embraced transsexual people as being of “two spirits” and often gave them elevated status in the tribe.

Yet in today’s society, largely shaped by its Judeo-Christian heritage, a heritage that is obsessed with male dominance, patriarchy, and two genders, people tend to see anyone outside the binary “norm” as problematic in different ways.

The gender binary you see in western civilization today is not “normal” for homo sapiens when viewed across history but it is “normal” within the context of our own civilization. I take some small comfort in that knowledge that our society itself is aberrant but I still have to deal with our current society which has self-defeating and crippling ideas about gender.

Having never publicly admitted to being a cross dresser, despite cross dressing most of my life in private, I’ve not had the experiences that Paula has. Yet it does not surprise me. The reaction to trans folk, especially transwomen is obvious. It’s either “you think you’re a woman” (as in the speaker does not actually believe it but goes along with you out of pity) or “you are a woman” (so there is some empathy, including over how difficult this must be) or “you’re a male no matter what you do” (which is outright rejection of your self-identification). But with cross dressers there is something else – “you’re a guy but you like women’s clothing?” which is seen as weird, hence the disdain.

What I find most amusing is those women, cis or trans, who even directly experiencing this yet continue to deny the impacts of patriarchy on women. But hey, there are people who still deny climate change, who deny the bad effects of smoking, and even deny that the earth is round so I guess this shouldn’t surprise me. People will defend their world view even violently rather than accept data that invalidates their world view, usually because their world view is part of their greater identity socially in some group. Risking their world view risks their place in their own social circles, hence the rejection of factual data that contradicts that world view.

In conclusion, it becomes obvious how deeply and badly gender binary patriarchy has shaped our current society, how crippling it is for those of us outside its norms, and even gives insights into how we might begin to change this. Changing a society’s deeply held gender beliefs is not something we will accomplish in our lifetimes but it is something we can work towards so that people someday can be who they are without fear of rejection or ostracism.

Protestant Fundamentalism and Mental Illness in the US today

May15

Recently, I had a discussion with some friends and acquaintances via Facebook. The topic was how irrational extremist fundamentalists are with a discussion centered on a woman with 9 children who had 5 miscarriages, who then begged forgiveness from God for her pride, and who was “rewarded” with another baby.

The originator of the discussion item called this “Frustratingly idiotic.”

I replied that “[s]omeone noted that this particular form of religion completely destroys a person’s sense of self-worth. Everything good that happens is from God. Everything bad that happens is “my” fault. How can any human being end up with anything except a warped view of reality and themselves when that mantra is pushed at them every day of their lives?”

This brought up a discussion of mental illness in the US, along with PTSD.

Another person then asked, after seeing the above, “Have people been raised so poorly in the past few decades that a majority of our population is actually mentally ill with anxiety, depression, and various versions of PTSD, much worse than the natural anxieties caused by economic issues and the normal struggles of life? Why is America suffering from PTSD when Europe isn’t?”

Below is my response to these questions.

May I suggest we all turn back the clocks and take a good look at 1950s America. A lot of change was beginning at that time, including civil rights changes. The first really sane looks at sexuality and GLBT issues were just beginning. Racism was being addressed. And there were people who were terrified of change, and terrified of the communist bogeyman as well.

These same people linked the concepts of “patriotism” and “godliness” and added “Under God” to the pledge of allegiance as well as “In God We Trust” to our money. Yes, this all happened in the 1950s. From there you have several successive generations raised under the illusion that being patriotic is being godly and being godly is being patriotic. Further, these were simple minded people leading these movements, and they took many things very literally, including the bible. This was the beginnings of the creationist movement as a political entity. Before this, creationism was seen as a backwater, hick concept among people not bright enough to understand science.

This was also the beginning of the Republican Party deliberately choosing to court these people, in order to gain more political influence. So as the Democrats moved in a more progressive direction away from their racist past, the GOP, which had progressive members like Ike, began to move the other direction, embracing racism in order to win over the states in the south. After Nixon lost to Kennedy in 1960, he worked with Kevin Phillips to create and apply what is today known as the “Southern Strategy”. That strategy is built on racism, and that racism is built on Protestant fundamentalism and a deliberate misinterpretation of the “curse of Ham” which has been used in the US south since before the Civil War as an excuse for treating people of color as lesser beings.

The 1960s saw the Civil Rights Act and forward movement on issues for people of color. It also saw the beginnings of political organization in the GLBT community, sparked by the riots at Stonewall but whose seeds had been laid years earlier.

As these right wing racist fundamentalists began to flock to the Republican party to fight against people of color, they also began to attack GLBT people as well. But their primary fight was first against people of color. Slowly, however, they’ve largely lost that fight. And as they lost, they retreated and set new barriers, primarily against gays. That was the political work of the 1980s through now. And now they are also losing against gays.

So their last stand, so to speak, is now against transgender people. They lost against people of color because there were so many and as people began to learn that people of color are human beings too. They lost against gays as gays began to come out openly and show that they are just normal people too, not the monsters that the religious right accused them of. And they are beginning to lose against trans people, again using the exact same arguments they used against black women in white women’s restrooms, etc., back in the 1950s.

You are probably asking what does this have to do with the problems that you mentioned in the US of the last few years. And the answer is that these people have acquired, since the 1950s, enough political (they control the GOP) and media power (Fox News, right wing talk radio, Rupert Murdoch’s empire) that they now feed a steady diet of fear, uncertainty, and doubt to a large but gullible section of the American public. And that public is told, repeatedly, that the only hope is for them to retreat further into literal Protestant fundamentalism. And yet in retreating, as I noted above, they adopt a world view that tells them that they, as individuals, are worthless. That nothing good can ever come from themselves or other human beings. And that all good must come from their all powerful creator deity.

And that is how so large a section of the American population has become mentally ill. They have willingly listened to liars and charlatans and bigots whose livelihoods depend on fanning the fears and hatreds that allow their movement to exist. Yet in fanning those fears and hatreds of people who are different, also brings about all manner of psychological problems.

Many people don’t realize that we didn’t get here by accident and that all of this is caused by that faction that today identifies itself as Protestant fundamentalists and/or the Tea Party.