Fifth E3000 Session Results

I completed session #5 on July 18th, 2014. Session #6 is scheduled for September 12. This session was over very quickly, less than five total technician hours, for $515 total. The senior technician said that the decrease in facial hair was very obvious to her. Compare this to over 10 hours total on the first session back in December 2013. Time in the chair is now down to half.

I am attaching a composite photo of the before from session 1 (before I did any facial hair removal) and the before from session 5. There is still very clearly a long ways to go obviously, but just as obviously progress is being made. If you look at the two photos, the upper lip is clearly less dense as is the area all around the mouth and the center of the chin. Also, not as obvious from this photo, the cheeks are almost fully clear before this session.

I am not including an after photo this time because they all look the same. I’ve realized that the interesting comparisons are the before photos from each session. Finally, as she said is true for almost all customers, the lower chin and neckline are the very last areas to begin to thin and clear.

Session1_Session5_before

Gender is not strictly a social construct

I just had cause to have to type this yet again for someone else, so I thought I’d place this answer here, where it can be easily referenced and seen. I’ve used the image in this reference before but it’s good to have the full reference too.

Gender is not solely a social construct. It is, in fact, partly biological. If I can show you just one image that demonstrates this (and there are dozens of scientific studies about this now), will you believe me?

This link contains pictures of actual brain scan results done during autopsies. Please note the image partway down the page. That image is a stained cross sectional slice of the central section of the bed nucleus of the stria terminalis in the hypothalamus (BSTc) in the brain.

Please note that the upper left image is the BSTc of a heterosexual adult male. Then lower left image is the BSTc of a homosexual adult male. They are almost identical, aren’t they?

The upper right image is the BSTc of an adult heterosexual female. It is very different from that of the males, isn’t it? And the lower right image is the BSTc of a male-to-female transsexual. Her BSTc is very similar to the adult heterosexual female BSTc. It is also nothing like the male BSTc, is it?

This is just one of nearly a dozen different physical brain differences between transsexual individuals and the rest of the population. I, we as transsexual women, literally have a female brain inside a male body.

Most people do not realize that there is this duality inside them. They don’t realize it because their brain and their bodies match. So to them it seems like one uniform whole.

But to those of us born this way, it is a constant clawing pain inside. It’s horror as your body becomes something that your brain isn’t intended to work with.

And we don’t know how to fix the brain. These brain structures form and set between the 8th and 16th week of pregnancy. Once set, they can never be changed. No amount of testosterone will change my brain into male. In fact, more testosterone usually makes us more depressed.

So no, gender is not solely a social construct. That is a myth promulgated by Dr. Money and Dr. McHugh (who recently wrote a pile of crap in the Wall Street Journal) back in the 1960s at Johns Hopkins. And their assumptions have all been disproved. Gender really does have a partial biological component and when that component is mismatched to person’s body, significant psychological trauma can occur. This is why we take hormones and undergo surgery – to align our body with our brains, because we have no idea how to do the reverse.

For more information on how hormonal levels in the womb impact individuals, please review this 2011 AMA Webcast. It is about an hour long but contains important medical information that relates to how transsexual brains come to be the way they are.

http://media01.commpartners.com/AMA/sexual_identity_jan_2011/index.html

A Short Update For June

Another month gone and I’ve been so busy!

The end of May saw the fourth facial hair removal session. This one has produced some visible differences. I suspect the next session, in mid-July, will produce even more noticeable differences.

I’ve been out with my daughter a few more times and had a good time each time. We went out on a Friday and had a great evening together, and then on Sunday, just two women out to brunch, even though it was Father’s Day and that was my daughter’s real reason for taking me out. She made me happy. We’re maybe going shopping together tomorrow, though she’s not felt as well lately so that may get postponed. I am planning to attend the Houston Pride parade on June 28th also so there’s lots going on for me.

I could comment about my sons, but there’s nothing to comment there. There never is. No cards, no letters, no emails, no phone calls, no text messages.. nothing. I’d forgive them what they’ve done but I don’t think they want that. Unfortunately, they closed that door, and only they can re-open it. And I will state that the recent circular logic rationalizations that were relayed to me about their behavior is unfortunate. Apparently they believe they can treat me as badly as they wish but if I ever say a single word about their behavior, it becomes their rationalization to never speak to me again. Talk about backwards!

On the work front things continue to move forward. We’re aiming at a coming out meeting in July or perhaps August. I have a meeting with HR and the new HR rep for our building on the 30th so I am looking forward to that, and to continued coordination about this. My finances still look on track to be able to afford the name and gender marker change actions in September or October. I am going to shoot for September, but we’ll see how that works out.

There’s been continued HRT goodness and I’m pleased overall on that front.

I realize this is just a short update, catching up, but I seem to be in a groove now, as things continue to move forward. I wish they could move faster but reality and finances are my key throttles right now and I have to deal with those as things allow. I have decided that after the legal paperwork is done, I’ll take a $3500 short detour and get the Matristem ACell + PRP scalp treatment to try to stimulate  more hair growth. And after that, all my savings will be towards GRS, which I am now strongly considering doing in Thailand, given the costs and that my insurance refuses to cover it.

Some Good Things

I’ve been neglecting the blog here a bit, except for that political piece yesterday, for over a month. But I should mention several good things going on.

HRT under the new estrogen regimen is working much better than under the old. I’m seeing rapid changes now that I like. A year ago, I still had a fairly boney male ass. Today, I have a nice rear end back there! Breast development is accelerating finally. Body shape is changing. Overall weight is only down about 7 pounds since I began HRT 19 months ago but the body shape continues to change due to closely monitoring my diet and trying to engage in regular exercise (though I’ve been lax about that since Christmas). That body shape change has resulted in me dropping from size 14 jeans with no rear end to speak of to size 10 jeans with a rather attractive hiney. 🙂

Also, as the physical aspects of transition continue, it’s becoming harder and harder to pass as a male. A few weeks ago I went into the office (I work from home mostly) to pick up a new battery for the laptop. I tied my hair back in a ponytail and put on a cap, male polo shirt, and jeans (though they were women’s jeans) and headed to the office. I thought I had the “geeky guy” look going pretty well. People who knew me identified me as male but I got some odd looks that had me perplexed. Then on the way out the front door, a guy I’d never met from the second floor steps ahead of me, grabs the door handle, and says, “Let me get that for you, ma’am.” And suddenly I realized what the odd looks were for – people were looking at me, expecting male and thinking male but not seeing that.

That happened again that same evening, still dressed the same way going to dinner with my spouse. We were addressed as “you ladies” and I was addressed as “ma’am” multiple times even when not carrying a purse and trying to look male. I guess I’m hitting the “male fail” line now. 🙂

And I have another facial hair removal session in two weeks again in Dallas. The entire chin/lip area is getting very sensitive and while I can see a small overall reduction in total facial hair, it’s still pretty dense in those areas. I am hoping the fourth session in two weeks, and the fifth session in July will make a big dent in that.

My benefits coordinator at work continues to try to get a straight answer from our health insurance company about gender surgery. Nothing useful so far on that front. I do need to contact the other HR rep though, because I want to get moving on the official coming out meeting to my team mates. I don’t want to come in on a Friday, announce that I am trans and then show up on a Monday in a dress. I want them to have time to assimilate the idea, ask questions, and for it to become a non-issue. HR wants to bring in a third party coordinator for this but has not found someone they want to use yet so I may have to push a bit on that front.

Legal name and gender change (on driver’s license) is still on track for early fall. That’s been my plan and I am going to stick to that barring some financial catastrophe along the way. I can admit that I am already looking forward to seeing ‘Cara Elizabeth’ and ‘F’ on my driver’s license though.

So things are slowly progressing in the direction I want. I’m still probably 18 to 24 months out at least from GCS (or SRS as some call it). I’m holding off on voice surgery since my voice is now changing due to hormones alone, something that usually doesn’t happen on hormone therapy but can occur rarely. I think I will wait to see where my voice ends up before I decide on voice training versus voice surgery though if I had to pick today, the voice surgery would be my choice.

Anyway, life is generally ok. Not quite where I want it but not horrible either. My adult sons and their families continue to pretend I don’t exist but I can’t do anything about that. Their loss. My ancient 1998 Z-28 Camaro has required no serious repairs (yet) and looks ready to pass inspection for another year after a recent tuneup. I want a new car but I have other financial priorities at the moment so unless my hand is forced, the Z-28 is it for a few more years anyway.

And that’s where things are for the moment!

Protestant Fundamentalism and Mental Illness in the US today

Recently, I had a discussion with some friends and acquaintances via Facebook. The topic was how irrational extremist fundamentalists are with a discussion centered on a woman with 9 children who had 5 miscarriages, who then begged forgiveness from God for her pride, and who was “rewarded” with another baby.

The originator of the discussion item called this “Frustratingly idiotic.”

I replied that “[s]omeone noted that this particular form of religion completely destroys a person’s sense of self-worth. Everything good that happens is from God. Everything bad that happens is “my” fault. How can any human being end up with anything except a warped view of reality and themselves when that mantra is pushed at them every day of their lives?”

This brought up a discussion of mental illness in the US, along with PTSD.

Another person then asked, after seeing the above, “Have people been raised so poorly in the past few decades that a majority of our population is actually mentally ill with anxiety, depression, and various versions of PTSD, much worse than the natural anxieties caused by economic issues and the normal struggles of life? Why is America suffering from PTSD when Europe isn’t?”

Below is my response to these questions.

May I suggest we all turn back the clocks and take a good look at 1950s America. A lot of change was beginning at that time, including civil rights changes. The first really sane looks at sexuality and GLBT issues were just beginning. Racism was being addressed. And there were people who were terrified of change, and terrified of the communist bogeyman as well.

These same people linked the concepts of “patriotism” and “godliness” and added “Under God” to the pledge of allegiance as well as “In God We Trust” to our money. Yes, this all happened in the 1950s. From there you have several successive generations raised under the illusion that being patriotic is being godly and being godly is being patriotic. Further, these were simple minded people leading these movements, and they took many things very literally, including the bible. This was the beginnings of the creationist movement as a political entity. Before this, creationism was seen as a backwater, hick concept among people not bright enough to understand science.

This was also the beginning of the Republican Party deliberately choosing to court these people, in order to gain more political influence. So as the Democrats moved in a more progressive direction away from their racist past, the GOP, which had progressive members like Ike, began to move the other direction, embracing racism in order to win over the states in the south. After Nixon lost to Kennedy in 1960, he worked with Kevin Phillips to create and apply what is today known as the “Southern Strategy”. That strategy is built on racism, and that racism is built on Protestant fundamentalism and a deliberate misinterpretation of the “curse of Ham” which has been used in the US south since before the Civil War as an excuse for treating people of color as lesser beings.

The 1960s saw the Civil Rights Act and forward movement on issues for people of color. It also saw the beginnings of political organization in the GLBT community, sparked by the riots at Stonewall but whose seeds had been laid years earlier.

As these right wing racist fundamentalists began to flock to the Republican party to fight against people of color, they also began to attack GLBT people as well. But their primary fight was first against people of color. Slowly, however, they’ve largely lost that fight. And as they lost, they retreated and set new barriers, primarily against gays. That was the political work of the 1980s through now. And now they are also losing against gays.

So their last stand, so to speak, is now against transgender people. They lost against people of color because there were so many and as people began to learn that people of color are human beings too. They lost against gays as gays began to come out openly and show that they are just normal people too, not the monsters that the religious right accused them of. And they are beginning to lose against trans people, again using the exact same arguments they used against black women in white women’s restrooms, etc., back in the 1950s.

You are probably asking what does this have to do with the problems that you mentioned in the US of the last few years. And the answer is that these people have acquired, since the 1950s, enough political (they control the GOP) and media power (Fox News, right wing talk radio, Rupert Murdoch’s empire) that they now feed a steady diet of fear, uncertainty, and doubt to a large but gullible section of the American public. And that public is told, repeatedly, that the only hope is for them to retreat further into literal Protestant fundamentalism. And yet in retreating, as I noted above, they adopt a world view that tells them that they, as individuals, are worthless. That nothing good can ever come from themselves or other human beings. And that all good must come from their all powerful creator deity.

And that is how so large a section of the American population has become mentally ill. They have willingly listened to liars and charlatans and bigots whose livelihoods depend on fanning the fears and hatreds that allow their movement to exist. Yet in fanning those fears and hatreds of people who are different, also brings about all manner of psychological problems.

Many people don’t realize that we didn’t get here by accident and that all of this is caused by that faction that today identifies itself as Protestant fundamentalists and/or the Tea Party.