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Radical Right Wing Crazies

Sep16

Texas attorney general Greg Abbott (who is now running for governor since Rick Perry announced he will not seek another term) is planning to sue the entire state of Texas to impose his religious views on everyone.

Now note that this line of argument was already tried in the 1950s and 1960s as the basis for continuing to discriminate against blacks and to ban interracial marriage and we know how that turned out in the end. But here in Texas he might win, which will mean Texas will have to be spanked, publicly yet again, by the federal court system for violating basic civil rights. (Texas has this ugly history in that regard, unfortunately.)

What really gets Abbott’s cockles all bunched up in a frenzy is that every major city in Texas, from Dallas to Austin to Houston and most recently San Antonio have all approved GLBT protection laws within the city limits. Further, the vast majority of major corporations operating in Texas have strong pro-GLBT rights corporate policies.

So what is driving this? Abbott’s classic appeal, using the standard GOP “Southern Strategy“, to try to reach bigoted white voters. It’s that simple.

Now Abbott just had his head handed to him by the federal court system in a lawsuit initiated by Wendy Davis, the progressive woman who famously filibustered that heinous anti-abortion travesty for nearly 12 hours. As retribution, the GOP controlled state senate tried to draw her district out of existence. And they lost, not just for her district but the entire redrawn state map was tossed out as blatantly biased.

So that’s the framework under which Abbott is proceeding. And before you think this might not touch you as a trans person, Abbott is of the opinion that gender can never be changed, meaning he is seeking to legally de-transition every single transitioned transsexual in the state of Texas.

This is what transphobia looks like, people. It wears a business suit and claims to be “mainstream Republican”. If you are trans and you vote Republican, you are supporting John Boehner, Eric Cantor, Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney and that entire crew who have openly declared war on you and your right to live.

What boggles my mind is that there are trans people who actually think that this is acceptable. I can tell you that if the radical right wing extremists win and you lose all your rights as a trans person, I won’t be shedding any tears for you if you helped make it happen.

Into the Literal “No Man’s Land”

Sep15

As my transition proceeds, my body continues to slowly, slowly adapt to HRT and the presence of estrogen instead of testosterone. I’m definitely much happier and calmer but the physical effects are slowly coming to light as well.

Case in point – I went to Dairy Queen with my spouse. We did this on a spur of the moment so I exited the house in very typical androgynous mode, with two exceptions – no compression shirt under my t-shirt and I didn’t tie my hair back into a pony tail. So my budding breasts would be visible at certain angles depending how the t-shirt fell against my chest and my hair from the rear had a definite feminine take on it. As usual I wore a cap because the hair loss on top annoys me to no end when out in public.

We arrived at Dairy Queen and there was a family of four inside. The two kids, both teens, didn’t bat an eye at me but the mother looked at me sort of oddly once that I noticed. Then I caught the father glancing at me repeatedly as if trying to figure out exactly what he was looking at.

Then another man and his son entered. Again the teen boy glanced at me and didn’t appear to take further notice but the man stood there repeatedly looking at me and not just at my face. When I noticed this, I turned and smiled nicely at him and he looked away. I then wandered over to the frozen treats display and looked into the glass to see him watching me yet again. I turned then, looked at my spouse, accepted my treat from the guy behind the counter as he finished making it, and then smiled at the guy one more time. He scowled at me, apparently unsure and threatened by my clearly ambiguous sexuality.

At that point my spouse and I both laughed and proceeded to leave. She had seen what had happened and was halfway amused.

Note to those wondering – yes we are still going to divorce. We remain friends. She’s just a heterosexual woman and doesn’t want to be married to another woman. That’s her choice, after all and I respect that. But we still do things together while she’s going back to school to refresh her skills before re-entering the workplace.

Things are rarely what we think they are

Aug18

Yesterday, I met someone I met via an online transgender forum. She knew I lived in this city and was here on business so she asked if we might meet. We did and ended up chatting for four hours when we planned on two.

In person she’s rather different than she presents herself online. I was pleased. We have a lot more in common than I originally thought and we hit it off rather well. Our discussions were far ranging, at least in the trans universe, from her extensive experiences (she transitioned over a decade ago) to my experiences thus far (I’m a fledgling newbie at this by comparison!), to trans politics, to health care in general, to our children, to rejection and then acceptance, often from the people who rejected us first.

Her experiences give me some hope that my own children may mellow and begin to accept me as I move further into my transition and they realize that they can either include me or exclude me but not sit on the fence.

In other matters, I read one of the more beautiful blog entries I’ve read in a while at Transgenderless titled “B is for (a New) Beginning“. (NOTE: As of 2015, this blog appears to be gone, sadly.) This made me smile, to read about another transwoman who is beginning to blossom into her womanhood.

In my own transition, I keep plodding alone, slowly but surely, like a turtle. But I expect things to pick up significantly over the next 16 months. As always, everything is subject to finances and being able to pay for things up front, so I can only go as fast as I can save.

Still, I am now optimistic about a couple things coming up soon, one of which is beginning electrolysis with E3000. I did get an appointment, in December rather than January, so that’s really good.

And I have to make a decision. I’ve been invited to be a maid of honor at a friend’s wedding in the spring of 2014. I want to go and I’m afraid of going, strange as that may sound. My biggest fear is becoming a spectacle at my friend’s wedding and detracting from that day for her and her fiance. But I’d love to go, and to be her maid of honor.

So I’ll spend some more time fretting, fussing, and wondering but within another month or so I need to decide. Arrangements need to be made.

Lesson Learned! Plan Further in Advance!

Aug2

I recently tried to make an appointment with E3000 in Dallas to begin full facial hair clearing and discovered that they are booked clear through January! I told them I’d like to book for January but this throws some wrenches into my plans as well but it also opens an opportunity this fall.

I had been planning to visit a hair restoration surgeon both to get a consultation about possible hair transplants and to have an ACell treatment done of my scalp. There’s a new protocol just a few years old where ACell’s stem cell activator is used on the scalp in conjunction with platelet rich plasma taken from the patient, which in some cases, causes new hair growth for some patients. The reason I am optimistic about this treatment for myself, is I am already experiencing some hair regrowth on estrogen and spiro (t-blocker). I am hopeful that this can trigger more and improve the density of what I have elsewhere since hair transplants are taken from your own scalp and just moved around.

It’s not a guaranteed thing and I don’t expect it to replace the eventual need for hair transplants for the truly balding areas of my scalp. But I do hope that it can thicken existing hair and cause some new growth in some of those bald areas, making the hair transplants more effective when that day does come.

Those of you who transition and don’t have to deal with extensive male pattern hair loss are very fortunate. All this makes me wish I’d transitioned years ago before the hair loss was so bad but back then I was still trying to be someone I wasn’t. I try not to have regrets but this is one that pops up from time to time.

So much done, so much to do

Jul28

I look back over the last 15 months and realize how much I’ve accomplished internally, as myself in coming to grips with myself. The externals haven’t changed as quickly as I’d like but I’m coming more and more to grips with who I am and where this road is leading. And I’m happy despite being shunned by some of the people I loved most in this life. I’m sad at the same time but I know that I have to be true to myself, that I can no longer go on living the lie they expected me to live, solely for their sakes. And that if me being honest and authentic drives them away, I will mourn that loss but not let it deter me from finding myself.

There are days I look in the mirror and smile at what I am beginning to see. There are days I look in the mirror and despair. The thing that gets me most often still is the facial hair. I can’t do much about the male pattern baldness other than see how much grows back under HRT but the facial hair I can address and now it’s a waiting game. I want to have the funds for two consecutive trips to E3000 in Dallas saved before I start with them because then I can save at a rate that will keep that process moving forward regardless of other events. And I’m almost there. I need to start thinking about scheduling a first visit with them.

I also keep delaying doing my eyebrows or getting my ears pierced. I’m not exactly sure why. I know I am procrastinating on those things. It’s probably fear or public rejection and I need to work through that.

I can pull on a wig and I like everything I see, except those eyebrows and the facial beard shadow. I really think that addressing those will make me feel a lot better about myself pretty quickly so from here it’s a matter of resolving to do what I need to do.

And as an addendum to my prior post, about how we as a community can’t “go back”, I would add the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

“We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.”

I aim to treat everyone around me as kindly as I can. But I will not stand idly by while someone tries to suppress me or those like me. When I see trans youth thrown onto the streets by their parents and hear their stories of being unable to find housing or work and being forced to choose the world of drugs and the sex trade, my heart breaks for them. And anyone who says they deserve that fate is someone I’d rather not know anyway.