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Odds and Ends in the Lazy Days of Summer

Jul25

After this last facial hair removal session, I’m enjoying an extended period of absolutely no facial hair at all. I know the neck and jawline will come back pretty strong again but given where we were on the upper and lower lip and center of the chin, as well as the cheeks, things may be pretty darned sparse from here on out. And for the moment, I’m enjoying it.

I am also noticing how rapidly skin with no facial hair returns to coloring similar to the rest of the face. At the same time there are texture differences from years of facial hair and shaving, so I can see why some transwomen opt to have full facial peels once the facial hair is gone. I’ll definitely want to give it time to heal afterwards but what I’m seeing is even more reason to consider a full facial peel eventually.

Today was interesting for another reason as well. My endocrinologist started me on progesterone. Progesterone should help further the breast development as well as put a little more rear end on me. At least that is the theory. But another side effect of progesterone is increases in hair growth. Since I’m trying to grow mine back, or as much as I can, this is rather welcome. I hope that it helps the process along. Well, both processes! 🙂

That brings me to another item. After coordinating with HR and my boss, I will be officially coming out to my teammates on August 11th. We’ve reviewed and edited my coming out statement. The meeting will be short and I’ll read that then offer to take any questions after the meeting is “officially over”. HR said we must do it that way so that if anyone wants to leave, they can. However, I honestly expect everyone to stay and ask a few questions. But we’ll see. Regardless, it will soon be done and then all that’s left between me and fulltime is the legal paperwork in September or October.

And the last item for this entry. I was saddened to hear of another transwoman who took her life recently. But what angered me were her family, who in their total rejection of her drove her towards that suicide. That same family today took over her Facebook page, changed her name back to her male name, and said the services would be in “his” honor. Even in death, they desecrate someone. That is how sick, twisted, and evil those who hate us actually are.

Some Good Things

May16

I’ve been neglecting the blog here a bit, except for that political piece yesterday, for over a month. But I should mention several good things going on.

HRT under the new estrogen regimen is working much better than under the old. I’m seeing rapid changes now that I like. A year ago, I still had a fairly boney male ass. Today, I have a nice rear end back there! Breast development is accelerating finally. Body shape is changing. Overall weight is only down about 7 pounds since I began HRT 19 months ago but the body shape continues to change due to closely monitoring my diet and trying to engage in regular exercise (though I’ve been lax about that since Christmas). That body shape change has resulted in me dropping from size 14 jeans with no rear end to speak of to size 10 jeans with a rather attractive hiney. 🙂

Also, as the physical aspects of transition continue, it’s becoming harder and harder to pass as a male. A few weeks ago I went into the office (I work from home mostly) to pick up a new battery for the laptop. I tied my hair back in a ponytail and put on a cap, male polo shirt, and jeans (though they were women’s jeans) and headed to the office. I thought I had the “geeky guy” look going pretty well. People who knew me identified me as male but I got some odd looks that had me perplexed. Then on the way out the front door, a guy I’d never met from the second floor steps ahead of me, grabs the door handle, and says, “Let me get that for you, ma’am.” And suddenly I realized what the odd looks were for – people were looking at me, expecting male and thinking male but not seeing that.

That happened again that same evening, still dressed the same way going to dinner with my spouse. We were addressed as “you ladies” and I was addressed as “ma’am” multiple times even when not carrying a purse and trying to look male. I guess I’m hitting the “male fail” line now. 🙂

And I have another facial hair removal session in two weeks again in Dallas. The entire chin/lip area is getting very sensitive and while I can see a small overall reduction in total facial hair, it’s still pretty dense in those areas. I am hoping the fourth session in two weeks, and the fifth session in July will make a big dent in that.

My benefits coordinator at work continues to try to get a straight answer from our health insurance company about gender surgery. Nothing useful so far on that front. I do need to contact the other HR rep though, because I want to get moving on the official coming out meeting to my team mates. I don’t want to come in on a Friday, announce that I am trans and then show up on a Monday in a dress. I want them to have time to assimilate the idea, ask questions, and for it to become a non-issue. HR wants to bring in a third party coordinator for this but has not found someone they want to use yet so I may have to push a bit on that front.

Legal name and gender change (on driver’s license) is still on track for early fall. That’s been my plan and I am going to stick to that barring some financial catastrophe along the way. I can admit that I am already looking forward to seeing ‘Cara Elizabeth’ and ‘F’ on my driver’s license though.

So things are slowly progressing in the direction I want. I’m still probably 18 to 24 months out at least from GCS (or SRS as some call it). I’m holding off on voice surgery since my voice is now changing due to hormones alone, something that usually doesn’t happen on hormone therapy but can occur rarely. I think I will wait to see where my voice ends up before I decide on voice training versus voice surgery though if I had to pick today, the voice surgery would be my choice.

Anyway, life is generally ok. Not quite where I want it but not horrible either. My adult sons and their families continue to pretend I don’t exist but I can’t do anything about that. Their loss. My ancient 1998 Z-28 Camaro has required no serious repairs (yet) and looks ready to pass inspection for another year after a recent tuneup. I want a new car but I have other financial priorities at the moment so unless my hand is forced, the Z-28 is it for a few more years anyway.

And that’s where things are for the moment!

The HR followup

Mar25

I really didn’t learn much in my HR meeting on Monday, the 24th. The benefits coordinator was out and unable to give me an answer to questions about trans surgeries and health care. We did cover my tentative legal transition schedule and that I was planning to go full time at work after that, so in the second half of this year.

It sounds like the surgery situation is somewhat ambiguous. I did point out that I would have letters of medical necessity when that time came, and that she should mention it to the CIGNA rep.

I also have permission to come out to my team mates. I need to coordinate that with my boss.

It wasn’t supposed to happen this way

Mar11

On Monday, we completed our usual planning session for the next two weeks of work and afterwards I stopped in to talk to my boss. Along the way, he informed me that the person I know best and trusted in HR just retired. Uh-oh. That threw a spanner into my coming out plans with HR. I had planned to talk to that exact person in early April since I’ve had contact with her before but not openly about this specific issue. My boss saw this bothered me so asked why. Given that I do trust him and have no reason not to talk to him, I said, “Let me close the door. We probably need to chat.”

So out it came. He now knows. And his reaction? “I don’t see this impacting your place in this organization in the least. In fact, if it does, I will be very disappointed in whomever tries to make it an issue.” He also said with my HR contact having left the company last week, he will find out who is best for me to talk to in HR so I’ll either have an HR appointment later this week or probably the first week or second week after I get back from vacation. I did explain that I am aiming to complete the legal aspects of transition in the second half of this year with a soft target date of September. Once that is done, I can really be full time and start the clock towards GCS.

That also means it’s all in play and live. And my boss? He congratulated me on tackling something that must be very difficult to face. He also said that I probably have enough stress from this outside the office (which is true) but he wanted to make sure the office was zero stress on this specific issue.

I work with great people, for a great company. I hope I can continue to say that going forward.

Addendum: Today I received an email from our new contact in HR. She wants to see me the first day I am back from vacation, which is Monday, the 23rd.

My boss also reiterated that if I need to speak to him at any time, his door is always open.

Medical Information about Transwomen in Sports

Mar9

The following was put together by Transadvocate, a trans advocacy website, on their Facebook page. In order to not lose track of it, I am putting it here. This is not my work! I am copying it for ease of reference! Thank you Transadvocate and Rehan! If I find another link to this, I will add it here for completeness as well.

In regards to the Crossift HQ refusal of Chloie Jonnson’s participation at the games here are some facts that should be considered before any sensationalistic claims are made without proper knowledge.

First of all the XY vs XX argument is invalid and not sufficient. There are well documented cases of XX males and XY females. The SRY gene region is normally found on the Y chromosome but is not a reliable method of testing since not only is not always found on the Y chromosome it also triggers a gene cascade not well understood by scientists yet that in turn affect other tissues during development which may lead to altered sexually dimoprhic traits in individuals, such as brain structure.

This is evidenced by scientific literature cited

Male-to-Female Transsexuals Have Female Neuron Numbers in a Limbic Nucleus
http://press.endocrine.org/doi/abs/10.1210/jcem.85.5.6564

and

Sexual differentiation of the human brain: relevance for gender identity, transsexualism and sexual orientation

Read More: http://informahealthcare.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09513590400018231
http://informahealthcare.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09513590400018231

and

Sexual Differentiation of the Bed Nucleus of the Stria Terminalis in Humans May Extend into Adulthood
http://www.jneurosci.org/content/22/3/1027.short

and

A sex difference in the human brain and it’s relation to transsexuality.
http://depot.knaw.nl/821/1/15106_285_swaab.pdf

with subsequent study by Dr.Swaab et al. And Kruijver et al. showing differences in the Bed Nucleus of the Stria Terminalis, SDN, Hypothalamus and gray matter volume underlining the importance of brain physiology.

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0165380688902313

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053811909003176

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J082v28n03_07#.UxoCwRbPPFI

http://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&lr&id=JFpq6hYQRhQC&oi=fnd&pg=PA41&dq=brain+dissection+transgender+Dr.+Swaab&ots=FjtewJ28wz&sig=8F-QOG1Q5QCEIMe1oQwqlWNb9ko#v=onepage&q&f=false

http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/2005to2009/2006-atypical-gender-development.html

Also studies showing it to be irreversible

http://aace.metapress.com/content/nm510264636815vk/

There is also an article linking hormone related genes to the atypical sexual dimoprhism. Genes CYP19 (Aromatase responsible for testosterone to estrogen conversion), AR (androgen receptor, the “key” hole for the cell that the testosterone “key” acts on to elicit it’s effects) and ESRB (Estrogen Receptor Beta which is responsible for the initiation of differentiating gene cascades in the fetal brain during fetal hormonal “washes”)

here

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306453005000454

Continuing on the topic of performance and gender testing the IOC released a statement before the 2012 summer Olympics.

“The new rules state that a panel of independent medical experts will examine through a blood test the testosterone levels in a woman and will then make a recommendation about whether she could be eligible to compete.”

The IOC and NCAA have decided after extensive research (independently) that Hormone profile is the primary determining factor for gender qualification in sport.

The Olympics requires 2 years post surgery before being allowed to compete at an INTERNATIONAL event.

The NCAA requires only one year of HRT.

This was determined the minimum to not have any unfair advantage as evidenced by the quotes from respective authorities below.
“Requiring sex reassignment surgery before allowing participation for the high school or collegiate student athlete is medically unnecessary and not linked to competitive equity IOC regulations requiring surgery for Olympic transgender athletes have been controversial and it would be unreasonable to”make this requirement for high school and college students”
ERIC VILAIN M.D., PH.D., PROFESSOR, DIRECTOR OF THE CENTER FOR GENDER-BASED BIOLOGY AND CHIEF MEDICAL GENETICS DEPARTMENT OF PEDIATRICS, UCLA
“Research suggests that androgen deprivation and cross sex hormone treatment in male-to-female transsexuals reduces muscle mass; accordingly, one year of hormone therapy is an appropriate transitional time before a male-to- female student athlete competes on a women’s team
ERIC VILAIN: M.D., PH.D., PROFESSOR, DIRECTOR OF THE CENTER FOR GENDER-BASED BIOLOGY AND CHIEF MEDICAL GENETICS DEPARTMENT OF PEDIATRICS, UCLA
“Transgender student athletes fall within the spectrum of physical traits found in athletes of their transitioned gender, allowing them to compete fairly and equitably”
DR. NICK GORTON
AMERICAN BOARD OF EMERGENCY MEDICINE, MEDICAL LEGAL CONSULTANT, TRANS HEALTH CARE

Further more, the difference need to be put into perspective when transgender women are compared with cisgender women they fall within a female range after the required time period (1 year NCAA, 2 years post-op IOC).
“Differences within the sexes are considerable and often times larger than differences between the sexes ”
DR. WALTER BOCKTING, PH.D.
PRESIDENT OF WPATH, ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR, UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA MEDICAL SCHOOL

These facts are presented based on scientific literature as cited
here
Elbers JM, Asscheman H, Seidell JC, et al. Effects of sex steroid hormones on regional fat depots as assessed.
here
Australian Sports Commission. Transgender in sport.www.ausport.gov.au/fulltext/2001/ascpub/women_transgender.asp (accessed 22 Mar 2005).

here
as contrasted between these two
↵ Stamm R, Veldre G, Stamm M, et al. Dependence of young female volleyballers’ performance on their body build, physical abilities, and psycho-physiological properties. J Sports Med Phys Fitness 2003;43:291–9. [Medline][Web of Science]
↵ Viitasalo JT. Anthropometric and physical performance characteristics of male volleyball players. Can J Appl Sport Sci1982;7:182–8. [Medline]
and here
Pilgrim J, Martin D, Binder W. Far from the finish line: transsexualism and athletic competition. Fordham Intellectual Property Media & Entertainment Law Journal2003;13:495–549.
And the rest of these studies

↵ Federation Internationale de Volleyball. Medical regulations, ed. 2004. http://www.cev.lu/mmp/online/website/main_menu/downloads/file_28430/fivb_med_regulations_-_revised_7.pdf (accessed 23 Mar 2005).
↵ Lausanne Declaration on Doping in Sport (adopted by the World Conference on Doping in Sport). 1999.www.sportunterricht.de/lksport/Declaration_e.html (accessed 23 Mar 2005).
↵ Ritchie I. Sex tested, gender verified: controlling female sexuality in the age of containment. Sport History Review2003;34:80–98.
↵ Batterham AM, Birch KM. Allometry of anaerobic performance: a gender comparison. Can J Appl Physiol1996;21:48–62. [Medline]
Thomas JR, French KE. Gender differences across age in motor performance: a meta-analysis. Psychol Bull1985;98:260–82. [CrossRef][Medline][Web of Science]
↵ Shepard RJ. Exercise and training in women. Part I. Influence of gender on exercise and training responses. Can J Appl Physiol2000;25:19–34. [Medline][Web of Science]
↵ Dickinson BD, Genel M, Robinowitz CB, et al. Gender verification of female Olympic athletes. Med Sci Sports Exerc 2002;34:1539–42. [CrossRef][Medline][Web of Science]
↵ Simpson JL, Ljungqvist A, de la Chapelle A, et al. Gender verification in competitive sports. Sports Med 1993;16:305–15. [Medline][Web of Science]
↵ Introducing the, uh, ladies. JAMA1966;198:1117–18.
↵ Doig P, Lloyd-Smith R, Prior JC, et al. Position statement. Sex testing (gender verification) in Sport. Canadian Academy of Sports Medicine. 1997. http://www.casm-acms.org/PositionStatements/GendereVerifEng.pdf (accessed 23 Mar 2005).

There is no “residual” advantage and often times transgender athletes are at a disadvantage due to severely lowered testosterone levels in comparison to native females. Cisgender women have a higher testosterone than transgender women who have had reassignment surgery and the related information.
http://transathletes.org/hormones.php

Other issues that arise in the form of practicality

1) Her numbers pale in comparison to other female athletes

Crossfit profile comparison between her and CLB:http://games.crossfit.com/compare/161983/8404

Back Squat: 225 lb Clean & Jerk: 165 lb Snatch: 125 lb Deadlift: 275 lb

These numbers pale in comparison to the top competitors as well as compared to many other regional athletes.

2) Let her compete, if she has an unfair advantage it will be very apparent and provide evidence for these as of yet unfounded claims of unfair advantage. There are yet to be any instances of a transgender athlete dominating competitions if this were to be so likely.

3) Saying this will open the door for other males to “become” transgender and dominate is very short sighted. Firstly they would have to adhere to the strict protocol involving Hormone Replacement Therapy which would remove that advantage. Secondly transgender people face a MASSIVE amount of discrimination not to mention the amount of money and physical pain of procedures that need to be endured to complete the requirements. The transgender suicide rate is 41%, forcing someone to live as the opposite identity is devastating psychologically and would also be true of someone trying to “fake” it. (Remember once the surgery is done it is a PERMANENT change, is winning crossfit that important?)

4) Having larger bone structure and lowered muscle mass constitutes a disadvantage.

5) Furthermore there is no consistent testing policy in crossfit for PED’s. A cis-female using AA has a much larger and much more distinct advantage which could be considered universally as an “unfair advantage”.

The most shocking thing is the completely deplorable and inappropriate reply from Crossfit HQ, who seem to be the ones lacking in understanding of the human genome and biology.