Archives

Odds and Ends in the Lazy Days of Summer

Jul25

After this last facial hair removal session, I’m enjoying an extended period of absolutely no facial hair at all. I know the neck and jawline will come back pretty strong again but given where we were on the upper and lower lip and center of the chin, as well as the cheeks, things may be pretty darned sparse from here on out. And for the moment, I’m enjoying it.

I am also noticing how rapidly skin with no facial hair returns to coloring similar to the rest of the face. At the same time there are texture differences from years of facial hair and shaving, so I can see why some transwomen opt to have full facial peels once the facial hair is gone. I’ll definitely want to give it time to heal afterwards but what I’m seeing is even more reason to consider a full facial peel eventually.

Today was interesting for another reason as well. My endocrinologist started me on progesterone. Progesterone should help further the breast development as well as put a little more rear end on me. At least that is the theory. But another side effect of progesterone is increases in hair growth. Since I’m trying to grow mine back, or as much as I can, this is rather welcome. I hope that it helps the process along. Well, both processes! 🙂

That brings me to another item. After coordinating with HR and my boss, I will be officially coming out to my teammates on August 11th. We’ve reviewed and edited my coming out statement. The meeting will be short and I’ll read that then offer to take any questions after the meeting is “officially over”. HR said we must do it that way so that if anyone wants to leave, they can. However, I honestly expect everyone to stay and ask a few questions. But we’ll see. Regardless, it will soon be done and then all that’s left between me and fulltime is the legal paperwork in September or October.

And the last item for this entry. I was saddened to hear of another transwoman who took her life recently. But what angered me were her family, who in their total rejection of her drove her towards that suicide. That same family today took over her Facebook page, changed her name back to her male name, and said the services would be in “his” honor. Even in death, they desecrate someone. That is how sick, twisted, and evil those who hate us actually are.

Fifth E3000 Session Results

Jul20

I completed session #5 on July 18th, 2014. Session #6 is scheduled for September 12. This session was over very quickly, less than five total technician hours, for $515 total. The senior technician said that the decrease in facial hair was very obvious to her. Compare this to over 10 hours total on the first session back in December 2013. Time in the chair is now down to half.

I am attaching a composite photo of the before from session 1 (before I did any facial hair removal) and the before from session 5. There is still very clearly a long ways to go obviously, but just as obviously progress is being made. If you look at the two photos, the upper lip is clearly less dense as is the area all around the mouth and the center of the chin. Also, not as obvious from this photo, the cheeks are almost fully clear before this session.

I am not including an after photo this time because they all look the same. I’ve realized that the interesting comparisons are the before photos from each session. Finally, as she said is true for almost all customers, the lower chin and neckline are the very last areas to begin to thin and clear.

Session1_Session5_before

About Male Privilege

Jan9

Cisgender male often do not believe that there is something like male privilege in existence. Even feminists have trouble identifying it and pointing it out clearly, probably because they never experience male privilege and then experience its lack. Natal males experience it constantly so never see it missing. Natal females experience its lack constantly so have trouble identifying it.

Interestingly, this is one area where transwomen are most able to support feminists, because often transwomen can provide actual examples of male privilege. Here are some anecdotal examples, names removed to protect those other persons.

One transwoman I know spoke about buying a new car as a woman for the first time. She said the initial experience was strange because she’d never been talked “down” to while buying a new car before. This continued until they moved on to actually negotiating over the car, where the salesman saw her legal name change and credit history. Suddenly, he was treating her like a male again. She said she was not even sure if the salesman knew what he had done, his treatment of different genders being so ingrained.

Another transwoman, in dealing with a particular bank, found them to be condescending. She too had undergone legal name change but not finalized all documentation yet. When she presented her name change paperwork along with her old “male” id, the tone of the discussion shifted, almost seamlessly and she too wondered if the individual involved even knew what had just occurred.

The following video exemplifies this sort of thinking, pointing it out, and telling women to not accept it.

People who deny that male privilege exists are ignoring very real evidence that it does exist – from transwomen who have seen both sides of the same coin directly.

An Inkling of Progress

May21

The spiro seems to be working. I say seems because it’s only been a few weeks but I think I am noticing some effects. Well, let’s say I am definitely noticing some effects! First off, there is a definite change in hair density upstairs where I have hair, which is good. Second, I’m getting some regrowth around the edges of the bald spot in back, which is also good. Third, the estrogen seems to finally be starting to overwhelm the testosterone and what has been tender slight breast bumps for months seem to be starting to firm up and grow a bit.

I also noticed that almost 8 months on HRT has taken a bigger toll on my upper body strength than I expected. I had to do some repair work on two gates on our fences and that was much more of a struggle than I anticipated. I was also experiencing some lightheadedness, which I was told to expect from my endocrinologist now that I’ve started the spiro.

It’s time to start running indoors again on the treadmill. It’s getting hot outside down here in the south, and humid as well. So much so that wearing a compression shirt and a t-shirt isn’t exactly wise but without the compression shirt I’ve got visible nipples that get stares. I’m amused but no sense upsetting the suburban neighbors.

I am still waiting for a response from my spouse about staying together or not for the next few years. We’ll see but I am going to ask her soon. This cannot hang out there forever undecided.

Six Days Later

Jul19

It’s now been almost a week since I came out to my adult children. My grandchildren are now apparently no longer considered safe around me and I’ve been cut off from them. My daughter sends me messages but the boys have been nearly silent. My eldest did call and ask about seeing a movie this coming weekend but that was it, no chatter, no talk. It feels like he is going through the motions. My younger son called for his mother and when I answered the phone there was a notable pause before he spoke again, asking if she were there. When I said no and asked if I could pass on a message, he indicated not. I then said I would tell her he called and at that point he hung up.

Today twice I went to enter my own bedroom and was chased out by my wife. The first time she was writing, keeping a journal that I apparently wasn’t supposed to know about. The second time she was on the phone with someone and gave me the nastiest look I can ever recall getting from her in all our years together. She keeps saying that no one is talking behind my back or plotting against me and I want to believe that but this isolation is wearing thin and her own actions now make me question things. What needs to be hidden from me so completely?

I’m beginning to think that I’m eventually going to have to consider moving out on my own or go crazy from the latent hostility and isolation from those I was closest to before this. The funny thing is that I am still the same person I was before I revealed my innermost self to them, yet that revelation has completely altered all our relationships and I am not the one that has changed. I’ve not begun hormones yet, nor extensively altered my physical appearance, yet just telling them the truth has caused them to harden their hearts towards me.

I’m left disappointed in ways that surprise me. Transgenders are often told that the worst discrimination comes from immediate family. It certainly seems true in this case.